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An Industry Prepares To Feel My Wrath - A Heartbreaking Work Of Staggering Flatulence [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
A Heartbreaking Work Of Staggering Flatulence

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An Industry Prepares To Feel My Wrath [Apr. 2nd, 2009|11:51 am]
A Heartbreaking Work Of Staggering Flatulence
The thing about being a literary court jester is that I am very seldom called upon for my opinion. I am expected to make the wet fart sound with my armpit, do my little dance and exit stage left, but no one ever uncovers how that fart sound makes me feel. You can't tell me you've never felt the poorer for it.

Those days are now behind us. Courtesy of http://29-95.com, an internet lovesong to Mike's Home Sweet Home of Houston, TX, I am now going to be a recurring feature as a video game reviewer.

I am uniquely qualified for this work. In addition to my astonishing midi-chlorian count, my blood contains equal measures of bitterness and mistaken entitlement. This enables me to thoroughly take game designers to task when they continually insist on pumping out video games that are not directly targeted at my core interests or tuned so I breeze through them while others look on in admiration.

The first object of my disaffection is Sonic and the Black Knight, wherein I bring incisive analysis to the nuances of a game geared for children. Needless to say, I dropped the f-bomb in the first paragraph.

I'm not even begging for diggs or the like (mostly because they aren't using it yet), but feel free to share it around. Hell, do it just to support Mike, whose beautiful artwork was compressed down to the level of neutron star mass. He needs love too.

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Comments:
[User Picture]From: vengeance_is_me
2009-04-02 10:33 pm (UTC)

.

*obligatory homeboy fist-pound*
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: uberdionysus
2009-04-03 11:23 am (UTC)
They have no idea what they've done. And is King Arthur really the bad guy?
(Reply) (Thread)