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Prepare to Envy Me - A Heartbreaking Work Of Staggering Flatulence [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
A Heartbreaking Work Of Staggering Flatulence

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Prepare to Envy Me [May. 5th, 2009|11:15 am]
A Heartbreaking Work Of Staggering Flatulence
After my successful foray into video game reviews, 29-95.com asked me what else I'd like to write. I wasn't sure either, so I took a look at my resume to see what I was qualified for:

Ian Cheesman
http://iancheesman.wordpress.com
 
Goal: To seek a creative position in the Lulz Industry

Education
  • Watched "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" like 200 times
  • Attended the Cracked Academy of Fine Arts/Dick Jokes

Skills
  • Maintained vigilance in making it my duty to please that booty
  • Alcoholism
  • Can string together words in some loose semblance of a sentence
  • Cirrhosis
  • Running down multiple blogs at one time

 


Suddenly it became very clear what my dream job was.  If I could find a way to write about alcohol and tank another website in the process, I would secure the ultimate niche.  

29-95.com - you just got NICHE'D!

It's my new, semi-regular beer review column.  I am now getting paid to drink beer.  If you're having trouble reading that, it's the tears of jealousy welling up in your eyes.

Of course, being me, it can't be just a regular beer review.  Not only will it include pointed and insightful commentary about beer, but it will have racism, scatalogical humor and all the jokes in between.  When I start off the series trying to review Corona Extra in earnest, you know it's not taking itself too seriously.

Anyway, for the two people out there that still care about me, I hope you enjoy.
linkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: hotlavamonster
2009-05-05 06:49 pm (UTC)
Hooray!
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: shamroq
2009-05-05 06:54 pm (UTC)
Agreed!
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: vengeance_is_me
2009-05-05 07:01 pm (UTC)

.

He'll soon be writing a review on diva cups for Bitch magazine. Watch for it.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: hotlavamonster
2009-05-05 07:09 pm (UTC)

Re: .

I'm already looking forward to the hairy armpit-man hater jokes. Some say "old," Ian says "classic"!
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: snatchbeast
2009-05-06 04:44 am (UTC)
sweeeeeetass
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: shamroq
2009-05-06 04:54 am (UTC)
I'm sayin!
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: snatchbeast
2009-05-06 04:47 pm (UTC)
You = hero
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)